Have you heard the saying, “You’ve got to fall in love with yourself first”? Well if you want a truly amazing and abundant life, I’m telling you, you need to make it your mantra! Now, I’m sure those voices in your head might be thinking this sounds mighty selfish, but I’m here to tell you it’s the exact opposite. And I am going to tell you today why I choose to be selfish.
Why I Choose To Be Selfish
This past year has been difficult, to say the least. My MS took a nasty turn and I lost some physical abilities because of it. But because of this difficult year, I learned how to put myself first in order to help others.
At the end of November I had my first major MS relapse. I couldn’t hold my body up, my hand didn’t work right, and I couldn’t feel my legs. My body had failed me. December 2016 is the month my life changed, for better or for worse I could never go back to being the girl I was.
I was forced to lay in bed for a month after that relapse and take a hard look at my life. I started to narrow down what is important in life. Who I should be there for. What I wanted to do in life. How I saw myself living.
But December is not the month that I learned in order to be there for others I had to take care of myself first. That realization came a couple of months later and in the meantime, I went on with life…
Putting others first
Pushing myself until my body would weaken and stop working right
Too tired to go out and do anything
Multiple Sclerosis was winning and that was not ok.
It was a beautiful day for a #walkms 😊That is me with the walker. I now use a walker full time. I appreciate having my family and friends at Walk MS to support me, as well as seeing all the other committed people there with MS and their families. The outpouring of support for those of us diagnosed is wonderful. Thank you to everyone who supported me and came today and those who were thinking of me and all of us with this life changing disease! 😊#WeAreStrongerThanMS .
Something you should know about me is…I’m competitive. Losing isn’t an option. And losing to MS is never going to happen. I had to figure out a way to live the life I wanted and live with MS.
So I started to put myself first. Slowly I took time off of work and eventually I listened to my doctors and left the job that I loved. I didn’t feel obligated to go to every little thing and I stopped letting negative people be a part of my life.
I started listening to my body and realized that putting my health and well-being first may appear selfish to others. But really I was saving myself to be present at the important things. Prioritizing what needs my energy and what doesn’t became a priority. I finally started to put myself first and life got better.
Yes, I still have my MS issues… I have a walker I use named walkie. But I learned how to pick and choose what is worth wearing my body out. The good days with MS are numbered so I use them wisely now.
Reasons why I choose to be “Selfish”
I am my own ADVOCATE.
I used to be someone who was willing to just sit in the background and allow others to disregard my potential. The girl who was content in being quiet and not speaking up. I would allow others to define who I was and would not correct them otherwise. I would let the opinions and beliefs of others dictate who I would become. But, over this past year, I have learned the importance of being your own advocate.
After my relapse, I sat in the doctor’s office and listened to him tell me that he expects me to be in a wheelchair by the time I am 30 if I continue the MS path that I was on. The news awoke a sleeping dragon. I looked am him and said that isnt going to happen. That day started something. I stoped caring what others thought about me and only cared about what I thought of myself.
My life and best interests are now my priorities and I will always stand up for myself.
I invest in myself so that I can invest in others.
There’s only one guaranteed investment in life, and that’s you.
You are the most important place you can put your time and money, and yet you are probably the one thing that tends to get neglected in life. When other people’s priorities come up or it’s time to sacrifice something, you might be the first to bend. But investing in yourself is not a selfish act. In fact, by helping make your life better, you will by default make the lives better of everyone else around you. And investing in yourself is the best way to ensure that you are well-taken care in the future, too.
I no longer blame anyone or anything else for my problems.
Blaming others for anything that goes wrong in our lives comes in hand. Instead of taking responsibility for a situation we prefer to blame others. There are situations where the blame is rightly placed on someone else but this whole concept of blame-game will never free us. Blaming never helps us, never and it will never ever do any good to us. Even if somebody did hurt us, we need to make a decision of letting things go. We need to learn and move on instead of being stuck in the same situation forever by holding on to blame.
Let’s face it, it’s easy to go around blaming others when things go wrong and in many cases, it really is someone else’s fault. But the problem is that blaming others will never help us move forward.
I am healthier… Physically and mentally.
Seriously! This is a pretty obvious one. Have you ever noticed that after a crazy, stressful week at work or just life stuff in general, you get to the weekend and wake up sick and don’t want to leave the bed? If you don’t put yourself first, your body will certainly kick in and force you too! Stress and lack of sleep weakens your body’s immune system and leaves you more vulnerable to all sorts of nasty illnesses. Don’t risk it!
I learned this the hard way. Actually, MS forced me to learn this. I don’t want you to have to learn this the hard way too.
I smile more.
When you are at your happiest, you are at your most helpful to the world. We should all strive to be our happiest and do those things that make us happy, every day. Don’t feel guilty about it, you are able to show up more for others when you start showing up for yourself first. So don’t be afraid to clear your schedule for a restorative yoga class, take a walk in the park on your lunch break or get yourself a massage, don’t be afraid to love you! After all, you are pretty fabulous.
I am self-confident and value myself.
Selfishness, it seems, may have gotten an unfairly negative reputation in the past, and I think it’s time we reexamine our understanding of what it means to put oneself first. It takes a lot of bravery and self-possession to stand up and say “I’m worth it!” to others, and even just to yourself.
Remember that caring for yourself is all about committing to taking care of your own needs the way you would for your very best friend. It’s about setting yourself up for balance and success, and it’s about valuing your health, opinions, and time. You deserve it! And when you are “selfish” enough to set yourself up to feel your best, you will be able to give your best to the world around you.
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