An Open Letter To My Body

An Open Letter To My Body

To my marked up, wounded, and beautiful body

I’ve known you for almost 25 years and we’ve had some serious ups and downs haven’t we?

You are never given enough credit or complimented enough for how incredibly beautiful you are. Every day, in front of the mirror, my eyes look at you in disgust.  I notice the stretch marks hidden under the waistband of my favorite leggings, the bulges of skin here and there, and the parts of you that are weak.

Stretch marks are from growing. Many people have them and there’s nothing to feel ashamed about, yet I have felt ashamed anyway. The parts of you that are weakening make me feel weak but without all the work you do we would be worse off.

So I’m here to say I’m sorry….

I’m sorry for all the times I called you “ fat”

 

I’m sorry for all the times I called you “ugly”

 

I’m sorry for all the times I called you “weak”

 

I’m sorry for feeling disgusted with you

 

I’m sorry for all the times I starved you.

 

I’m sorry for all the times I restricted you.

 

I’m sorry for pushing you even when you were trying to tell me to slow down.

 

I’m sorry for being angry at you because of a disease that you didn’t choose to have.

 

I’m sorry for not listening to you sooner.

 

I’m sorry for not accepting every part of you.

 

I’m sorry for trying to squeeze you into a smaller size

 

I’m sorry for comparing you to others.

 

I’m sorry for all the many times abused you trying to get skinny.

 

I’m sorry for the body shaming I did while I stood in front of the mirror.

 

I’m sorry for being the biggest bully when all you have done is love me.

 

I’m sorry for everything and hope you can forgive me.

I’m sorry I took advantage of you for so long. Now in order for us to stay mobile as long as possible, we have to work together. The monster called MS has made us weaker and there are days that I blame you.

I know I shouldn’t but when I feel weak you’re the easiest one to blame.

We never thought that we would go through a battle this hard at such a young age. I’m happy that God gave me the body that I have to fight this horrible disease.

You are everything to me.

Without you, I would not be who I am today or even look remotely the same. I’m sorry that I have not cared enough for you. I haven’t been more thankful to have you or more confident in you. From now on I am going to try my hardest to see you as the beautiful and strong body that God gave me.

I promise that from this day forward…

I will fuel you with the right fuel

 

I will listen to you when you tell me to slow down

 

I will look at your strong instead of weak

 

I will ignore the parts of you that are weakening because I know it hurts you too

 

I will ignore your flaws and focus on the things that make you beautiful

 

I will help you fight when you feel too weak to move

 

And I will help others understand what you’re going through

But most of all, I promise that we are in this fight together forever. God has a plan for us and I trust him. There will be hard days when neither of us feel like we can carry on. But I promise we’ll make it because we have already overcome more than we ever thought we could.

So, will you listen to my quivering voice as I pour out my love to you on paper? Will you forgive me? I’ve wasted far too many years wishing that you were different and it’s gotten me nowhere. You were given to me and  I love you, dear body, and I accept you, dear body.

Because of you, I am alive and you have shown me what unconditional love really is.

And I’m really lucky you’re mine.

Love,

Jenn

an open Letter to my body

Why I wrote this letter and where have I been…

For you to understand why I felt the need to write this letter I need to explain to you why haven’t posted for almost 2 weeks….

The past two weeks I’ve gone through something I’ve gone through many times before. An MS relapse

During these relapses when my body is at its weakest I find myself angry at my weakening body instead of praising its strengths. Even though I know my body and I have no control over multiple sclerosis, I find myself disappointed in the weakness that has begun to take over my body.

While it’s a normal reaction to feel this way I owe myself more.

I had a realization during this last two weeks that I have not treated my body with enough respect. So writing this letter was the first step to creating a healthy and happy relationship with myself.

A relationship that is not only mentally stronger than my weaknesses but also physically strong enough to adapt to my ever changing body.

I encourage you to take the time to write a letter to yourself and your body. If you decide to share it online leave a link in the comments. I would love to read what you would like to say to your body.

happier life

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An Open Letter To My Body

 

32 Comments

  1. What a great post! I am definitely guilty of saying a lot of these things. I remember in high school I was so insecure about my body and there was not nearly as much pressure to look good as there is now. My sister is 17 and the way girls are now is crazy and I try and tell my sister she is beautiful all the time but there is so much pressure out there today it doesn’t ever seem enough!

  2. This is beautiful! I love your positive outlook in this difficult time in your life! I don’t think anyone can love themselves enough with all of the negative influences bombarding us daily!

  3. Absolutely beautiful piece dedicated to loving your body! I need to take a leaf out of your book and dedicate a similar letter to my body, which has done so much for me.

  4. truly beautiful. Am so sorry for your relapse and the many years of ups and down that you’ve gone through because of your illness and body image issues. I wish you the best. Thank you for sharing your story.

  5. Thank you for taking the time to read my post! I feel like we are all a little harder on ourselves than we used to be. It is time to start loving ourselves again.
    Jenn

  6. Positive self talk is important in a world where others try to talk negatively to others online. Being happy with ourselves is an important step to a happy life.
    Jenn

  7. I couldn’t imagine going to school in the world now. There was enough body image issues back when I went let alone adding social media that they have now. It would be difficult and I hope more girls and young women will learn positive self talk at a young age.
    Jenn

  8. This is really good. I have quite a few metabolic based diseases so can totally relate about being annoyed at feeling weak and wanting to be strong. This will be a good thing for you to read on your bad days.

  9. I really needed to read this right now. I feel like a pool day yesterday turned into a complaining session between my two friends and I, 3 beautiful girls with completely different body types and weights. No one had anything positive to say about their bodies, and it was really sad. We are more than bodies and at the same time need to appreciate them more. Thanks for sharing.

  10. Kim

    That was a very vulnerable post and I applaud you for it…sounds like you are on a journey of manifesting the best for yourself.

  11. I’m so sorry about your relapse. This made me feel a lot of things and I know it’s got to be so hard going through all of this. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share and confront what you’re feeling.

  12. This is such an inspiring post! I’m so happy that people can look at things this way these days. I struggle with my body confidence every day. Being bigger in a society that worships small women is hard, even though I know we all have our problems, but this makes me want to just stand in the mirror say, “Girl, you’re a DIME!” Thank you!

    xo, Kimberly
    http://www.lifeofkimberly.com

  13. I need to monitor my inner self talk and treat myself better! I have been good about feeding it healthy foods, but I can definitely be pretty mean to myself with my words!

  14. Wow–this is so profound. I’ve been simultaneously being hard on my body and being hard on myself for not appreciating everything that it can do all summer long. Aging is hard–apparently, even at 27, your metabolism slows down and you start looking a little different than you used to, even though your routine’s the same. Who knew? But thank you for the reminder to keep fighting the negativity that comes all to easily to us all, because our bodies are seriously amazing.

  15. I think positive self-talk is so important but I am definitely guilty of negative self-talk too. We are so hard on ourselves as women but with wiser choices things can bloom.

  16. k

    Sometimes it takes things really spiraling to force us to understand what we really have. I have been there medically, and I totally understand feeling the way you did. I’m so happy to see you accepting your body and appreciating everything it can do!! Keep your head up xo

  17. This is such a lovely letter. It reminds me how important it is for us to give ourselves a break and also to be thankful for all the wonderful amazing things are bodies allow us to do. 🙂
    Cheers, Sarah Camille // SCsScoop.com

  18. Jenn!
    What a heartfelt and beautiful letter! I appreciate your vulnerability.
    I don’t know by any means what it is like to suffer with MS, but I do know the struggles of a woman and her body. I had many eating disorders and didn’t love the physique I looked at in the mirror on the daily.

    But realize the gift isn’t necessarily our body, but the opportunity to live as a visitor in it on this earth. And therefore I treat my body with great respect to enjoy the most out of this life that I can. We are each so unique (which includes you) and we each have a voice to share, gifts and talents.

    I am grateful you are sharing your voice! Trust me…someone needs to hear what you have to say and is listening! Big love to you lady! xo~D

  19. This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing this post with the world. Wow! I got so emotional. It is so important for us to embrace the bodies that we are working with, even when we dislike it. We can always find things to nitpick, but it is only when we accept who we are that we truly begin navigating through life a little happier.

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